The webseries follows grief-stricken Jason Moore, a teenager whose parents have been killed as a result of a deadly disease spreading like wildfire, caused by a cosmic entity known as the Plague Doctor. Now, he plans to survive in a world where fifteen sixteenths of the population have passed on, and by the end, plans to kill the Plague Doctor, thus ending the Modern Plague once and for all.
Hunter_OmegaPenpusher
The webseries follows grief-stricken Jason Moore, a teenager whose parents have been killed as a result of a deadly disease spreading like wildfire, caused by a cosmic entity known as the Plague Doctor. Now, he plans to survive in a world where fifteen sixteenths of the population have passed on, and by the end, plans to kill the Plague Doctor, thus ending the Modern Plague once and for all.
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Seems to me, in 20 words, the story distills down to:
A teenager must defeat a?mysterious cosmic entity on the verge of exterminating the human race with an incurable plague.
(As a rule, loglines doen’t name a protagonist (or other characters). ?Rather it describes the protagonist in terms of a character flaw and/or a distinguishing character strength. )
I realize this version is devoid of all the pizzazz and wow! you conceived for the story. ?A logline has a way of doing it, stripping stories down to the bare bones. ?But in doing it so, it often reveals that the bones of the story — the plot elements — are not well connected or not all there or broken. ? So a logline is not just a sales tool, it is also a diagnostic tool .
It seems to me that “grief-stricken” is an insufficient description of the character. ?Of course, he’s grief-stricken. ?So is everyone else. ?What the logline needs, what the character needs, is a defining strength, something he has that the remaining fraction of humanity doesn’t have. ?A certain plus-factor that gives him ?a fighting chance against overwhelming odds to defeat the cosmic entity. ?What is it?
fwiw
What DPG said.
I’ll add that a logline for a series, web or otherwise, is best structured to describe the pilot episode. However,?if you do have a the whole season narrative plotted out, you could try and write it for a season but best to focus on the major events in the narrative just as you would in a film – inciting incident?and end goal.
It sounds like your inciting incident is the parents being killed, and the goal is to kill the psychotic entity.
Here is my try at a logline for your season one:
After a psychotic entity kills his parents a fearful teen must fight through a post apocalyptic plague ridden world to kill the entity responsible.
A great rewrite by dpg, a logline’s purpose is to tell your story in as clear and concise a way as possible. Hope this helps.