This thriller follows the life of a genius African-American student, Brad, matriculating at MIT in the 1950?s. At MIT, the curse of his genius drags him into a governmental PR stunt to launch a nuclear missile at the moon in response to the Sputnik satellites ominously orbiting the Earth. When the Russians learn of the plan, his life is put in peril while a larger conspiracy emerges when his professor’s husband learns of their torrid affair.
nannaronelawPenpusher
This thriller follows the life of a genius African-American student, Brad, matriculating at MIT in the 1950?s. At MIT, the curse of his genius drags him into a governmental PR stunt to launch a nuclear missile at the moon in response to the Sputnik satellites ominously orbiting the Earth. When the Russians learn of the plan, his life is put in peril while a larger conspiracy emerges when his professor’s husband learns of their torrid affair.
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Agreed with the above comments. A good starting point for you, to re structure this logline,? is to think of one goal what is the one thing he must achieve? Once you’ve identified his goal reverse engineer the logline accordingly.
Put at peril is too vague. Are the Russians actively trying to kill him? That is a completely different story to threats.
A MIT grad working in a Government program to put a nuke on the moon goes on the run to escape Russian assassination.
At 76 words and 445 characters this logline needs considerable parrying in order to become an effective pitch of a script. ?Ideally the length of a logline should not exceed 25 words and fit into a twitter — 140 characters.
Please review “Training” at the top of the web page for some general guidelines on composing a logline that conforms to industry expectations.