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shahzayb
Posted: August 23, 20122012-08-23T08:52:09+10:00 2012-08-23T08:52:09+10:00In: Public

Three friends who have their problems with society and family and friends because of their serious addiction to heroin. they must try to make their people understand, but only to loose hope by those people who dont remember.

People Who Don’t Remember

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    3 Reviews

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    1. 2012-08-23T09:16:15+10:00Added an answer on August 23, 2012 at 9:16 am

      No offense intended, but this is a clinic on how NOT to write a logline. 1. It’s too long. 2. It’s misspelled (“lose” hope, not “loose” hope). 3. It doesn’t make sense (who are the people who don’t remember? What does it mean to lose hope “by” them?). 4. There’s nothing that makes this logline stand out, and in fact, it seems exactly like the movie “Transpotting.” I’d suggest you find the one thing about your story that makes it different from any others in the genre and focus on that in the logline. Make it clear and concise, and have someone with a strong command of English check it for spelling and comprehensiveness. Good luck.

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    2. shahzayb
      2012-08-23T09:22:51+10:00Added an answer on August 23, 2012 at 9:22 am

      Hey thanks! None offense taken. It was good for the info, but I don’t think it looks like Transpotting.

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    3. Carang Penpusher
      2012-08-23T18:01:24+10:00Added an answer on August 23, 2012 at 6:01 pm

      Using the word friends twice in proximity is off-putting.

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