Penpusher
Posted: 2017-10-01T04:18:15+10:00 In:

To begin a new life after a suicide attempt, an orphaned girl, who is afraid of the outer world, with a stranger’s help moves to a big city and begins interacting with people.

To begin a new life after a suicide attempt, an orphaned girl, who is afraid of the outer world, with a stranger’s help moves to a big city and begins interacting with people.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      >>>begins interacting with people.

      And then what?? The logline for the concept still lacks a plot, a throughline for the action. No matter -in spite of — her past, her inner conflicts,? there needs to be a plot.? That is, she need to be? striving toward a specific?– not a general — objective goal. And that goal needs to be stated in the logline.? ?What is that specific, objective goal?

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    2. Singularity

      Agreed with DPG.

      Also, the first few clauses are backstory, good for the synopsis but redundant in the logline. Focus the next version on the sequence of events that occur after she gets to the city.

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