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jgherreraPenpusher
Posted: September 13, 20172017-09-13T10:43:56+10:00 2017-09-13T10:43:56+10:00In: Drama

To save his family, a former criminal profiler, with a supernatural ability that allows him to enter people?s minds, is pressured to work for the drug cartel.

To save his family, a former criminal profiler, with a supernatural ability that allows him to enter people?s minds, is pressured to work for the drug cartel.
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    4 Reviews

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    1. dpg Singularity
      2017-09-13T11:01:58+10:00Added an answer on September 13, 2017 at 11:01 am

      First of all, it’s more effective for a logline to frame the conflict in terms of a singular protagonist vs. singular antagonist. ?In this case he’s (probably) going up against the leader of the drug cartel.

      Now, then: ?he has a supernatural ability to read the mess in the minds of criminals — but it’s not good enough to mess with and, hence, outwit the minds of the criminal leader of a drug cartel or any of his subordinates. (???) ?What supernatural ability does the leader have that gives him the upper hand?

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    2. Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2017-09-13T12:18:34+10:00Added an answer on September 13, 2017 at 12:18 pm

      If he has the power to read minds, why couldn’t he have known to prevent his family from being exposed to danger in the first place?

      Forced to work for a drug cartel, a criminal profiler must use his clairvoyant powers to free his family from harm.

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    3. Richiev Singularity
      2017-09-13T14:03:33+10:00Added an answer on September 13, 2017 at 2:03 pm

      What does the drug cartel need with a profiler?

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    4. jgherrera Penpusher
      2017-09-14T00:03:44+10:00Added an answer on September 14, 2017 at 12:03 am

      Hi folks,
      thank you all for your feedback. Very constructive. Yea I was playing around on how to best word this story and I think with the notes captured here, I have a better understanding. Thank you Foxtrot25 for the suggestion.

      J

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