Trapped inside their family cottage, a group of detached siblings must battle a vengeful witch and break a centuries old curse on their family.
SadierosePenpusher
Trapped inside their family cottage, a group of detached siblings must battle a vengeful witch and break a centuries old curse on their family.
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“Trapped inside their family cottage, a group of detached siblings must battle a vengeful witch and break a centuries old curse on their family.”
This logline lacks focus. To start with, “trapped inside their family cottage” should be the inciting incident. Does the witch trap them there? Describe a specific, singular event. The logline also presents two objective goals, to battle the witch and to break a curse. ?I assume that by defeating the witch they break the curse, is that the case?
While having multiple protagonists is fine(I suggest no more than three who are the focus, even if there are more characters) what is special about them? What skills do they have which allow them to fight a witch, and have a chance of winning? Do they have magic? Is this witch the one who cursed their family? Is she a descendant?
And the most important thing, what exactly is your hook? This doesn’t sound very different from other horror movies. What’s unique about yours?
For general information on forming a logline, check Formula tab at the top of the page.
Here’s an example:?After a vengeful witch kills their parents, three estranged siblings must use their limited witch hunting skills to kill the witch who placed an old curse on their family. (29 words)
I hope this helps.
I think Dk’s advice is strong.
Good advice. Another angle could include a deadline that they have to complete this by or else something worse happens
This sounds like a great horror premise, a containd genre film is what many producers are looking for, and this sounds like one. The logline, as mentioned above, does need some work though.
You’ve mentioned multiple protagonists, which can be done but will work against you in the long run. You’re far better off specifying one. Can you define one main character for the story? Can you define the event that starts the story for this character? Could it be that one of his or her siblings is killed by the witch? The subsequent goal could be to kill the witch and it needs to be specified in the logline as well.