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ThemostepicguruPenpusher
Posted: April 19, 20162016-04-19T04:32:55+10:00 2016-04-19T04:32:55+10:00In: Drama

Two lovers, living in different universes, have the unfortunate fate of acknowledging each other’s existence as the two lovers start dreaming of being in each other’s body and both fall madly in love with each other. .

Two lovers, living in different universes, have the unfortunate fate of acknowledging each other’s existence as the two lovers start dreaming of being in each other’s body and both fall madly in love with each other. .
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    3 Reviews

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    1. Dkpough1 Uberwriter
      2016-04-19T06:44:46+10:00Added an answer on April 19, 2016 at 6:44 am

      There is no inciting incident. Is there something specific that causes them have knowledge of each other’s existence? What is the plot? Why do they fall in love? Where is the conflict?

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2016-04-19T10:05:30+10:00Added an answer on April 19, 2016 at 10:05 am

      As noted, what’s the inciting incident? ? The logline poses a situation, a confusing one — but not a plot.

      What, specifically, is so “unfortunate” about their relationship? ?What specific objective goal arises out of this situation. ?And who or what opposes them??And so what ?if they fall in love with each other– what’s at stake?

      Check out the training option at the top of the web page for some guidelines for constructing an industry standard logline.

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    3. FFF Mentor
      2016-04-19T19:05:23+10:00Added an answer on April 19, 2016 at 7:05 pm

      Hello,
      in my opinion the problem is that you start with “two lovers”, but they fall in love only later in the logline?(when they start dreaming of being in each other’s body). Then, how do they know that their lover is in another universe and not two blocks away? I think there’s something good in the concept but it needs more work to be shaped in a coherent plot and a coherent logline.

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