Logliner
Posted: 2016-10-29T20:35:28+10:00 In:

Two overly curious high-schooler use their new found psychic power to investigate a flawlessly executed homicide, unknowingly by them that the murderer also possesses such prowess who uses it to hunt them down, which results in a run and chase in both physical and sub-conscious world.

Two overly curious high-schooler use their new found psychic power to investigate a flawlessly executed homicide, unknowingly by them that the murderer also possesses such prowess who uses it to hunt them down, which results in a run and chase in both physical and sub-conscious world.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Agreed with DPG.

      I’ll add that the logline contains too many descriptions. In its current structure and length, it’s hard to make out the plot and main character.

      Best you simplify the logline down to a clear description of a single course of action taken by a single main character, any subsequent reactions? by other characters are unnecessary in the logline.

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    2. Singularity

      The concept has promise but I think it needs polishing.

      Why 2 protagonists? ? It ?is usually better to focus the logline and script on one protagonist. ?Whoever gets the nod can have a sidekick/reflector character, of course and the sidekick can have psychic powers — but not as powerful as the protagonist. ? (But the sidekick/reflector character need not be mentioned in the logline. ?The protagonist owns the spotlight in a logline, doesn’t share it with friends or allies.)

      Also the logline needs to indicate ?the gender of the lead because that’s a primary piece of information ?movie makers are looking for in a logline.

      In addition, ?the antagonist’s objective goal needs to be bluntly stated: ?he’s not just “hunting them down” — he’s out to kill them, right? ?The stakes for the protagonist are ?mortal.

      Finally, the logline needs to focus on the objective goal of the protagonist in response to the threat of the antagonist. ?What must the protagonist do when he/she realizes the murderer is coming after him/her?

      fwiw

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    3. Logliner

      Do you think it is interesting? Any input will be very meaningful.

      Please comment and vote, guys. Thanks!

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