Romeo and Juliet
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While I very much like the drama of this statement, it leaves me feeling like I want a bit more information. Who are these teens? Why are their families rivals? Why doesn’t it go well?
I agree with brooke. It comes close to Snyder’s example of the logline “She was the perfect date… until she had a drink” in that it makes you imagine a whole lot that could go on which is great. Maybe it just needs a little context, i.e. what area are the families rivals in? Are they bikies? Mafia? Keeping up with the Jones’ type neighbors? Just a little more information would make a big difference. The mention of a twist of some kind on the old Romeo and Juliet plot might help too. Good start.
You both make good points, It does need a little more to it. BTW
I put this in classics, it is the log line for Romeo and Juliet.
doh! so you did haha 🙂 I’m newly active here and didn’t read carefully enough. Plus you got me excited to see a new take on an old classic. That’s what puts bums in the seat hey? Cheers
I just started here as well, my first log line.
Sounds like Romeo and Juliet, but with some setting, and maybe a theme, it could be turned into something different.