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Hey Shawn – Well done for posting your second logline! Now it is time to review at least four loglines by other writers on this site! The only condition of use of this website is to return the favour of reviewing loglines.
About your own contribution of today:?Check out our section about how to write loglines. This is not a logline; it is not even a tag line.
In industry terms, we call it ‘comps’, or comparables.
A logline tells us what the key elements of the story are.
Once you have more details about the story idea, please post them below as a comment in this thread. That will help future visitors.
Happy loglining!
Cheers,
Karel
As Karel said.
A logline is a concise summary of the plot upto either the midpoint or the beginning of the final act, phrased as a single sentence. Easiest thing to do, is read other peoples and the corresponding comments.
Even as a comp, I’m struggling to tie those two together. Which elements are taken from which? A comp with no additional information, especially when it’s simply a “movie meets movie” comp, can be tough to sell simply because how is the reader/listener supposed to understand which elements from which? Say something like “Jaws in space” (Alien) and you get what sort of plot you’re looking at. Or give us a something that suggests a distinct visual style, or method of storytelling. Or a well-known film thrown into another genre – “Home Alone as a horror”. Whatever it is, a comp must be as specific as possible, as a logline should. It’s your idea, make sure people see your idea.
The “X meets Y” formulation should be reserved for a pitch meeting.