Penpusher
Posted: 2017-05-26T13:08:15+10:00 In:

UPDATED: AN AGORAPHOBIC WRITER WHO WAS FAMOUSLY ABDUCTED WITH HER BEST FRIEND WHEN SHE WAS 13 YEARS OLD, MUST OVERCOME HER FEARS, AND BATTLE A MENACING ENTITY FROM HER CHILDHOOD. IF SHE SURVIVES, SHE CAN FINALLY WRITE THE STORY EVERYONE WANTS TO READ. THE TRUTH.

UPDATED: AN AGORAPHOBIC WRITER WHO WAS FAMOUSLY ABDUCTED WITH HER BEST FRIEND WHEN SHE WAS 13 YEARS OLD, MUST OVERCOME HER FEARS, AND BATTLE A MENACING ENTITY FROM HER CHILDHOOD. IF SHE SURVIVES, SHE CAN FINALLY WRITE THE STORY EVERYONE WANTS TO READ. THE TRUTH.
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    5 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Singularity

      I think it needs a more compelling goal than just writing a book: How about something like this.
      —————————————-
      “When an agoraphobic writer returns to her childhood house, she must battle a menacing entity in order to save her childhood friend who is still held captive by the beast”

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    2. Best Answer
      Uberwriter

      Don’t use the log to list what’s happening in the story, use it to tell us what she’s up against, how long it can last and what price she’ll pay if she fails.

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    3. Best Answer
      Uberwriter

      Advise to remove “overcome her fears” We know she needs to do this with mention of agoraphobia (which, btw is a risky word to use because a lot of folks may not know what it means.)

      Is this a contained horror? Like in a cabin or something? If so, wise to mention it. Producers often seek these low budget scripts.

      I still fail to place what surviving this entity directly has to do with her ability to write her story? Maybe mention the entities motive in this if at all possible?

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    4. Best Answer
      Singularity

      A defining characteristic of the horror genre is that the protagonist must “battle a menacing entity”. ?And that often constitutes the story hook, ?what?differentiates it from the ?”menacing entities” in all the other horror movies.

      So what is the story hook? ?What makes this “menacing entity” different from all the rest? ?The nature of the jeopardy needs to be made specific.

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    5. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Agreed with the above, the details of the obstacle will make this interesting – what is this monster all about that makes it terrifying? Does it inhibit children’s dreams? Is it a chainsaw wielding madman? A riddler who locks his victims in a room with their key to salvation at their fingertips?

      Lastly, the backstory is less important and should be cut, the character description is what makes the story interesting.

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