Logliner
Posted: 2019-03-31T06:04:17+10:00 In:

Upon watching a man taking another one hostage in broad daylight, an event planner on a job interview decides to prove his skills by turning the situation into a beautiful celebration.

Upon watching a man taking another one hostage in broad daylight, an event planner on a job interview decides to prove his skills by turning the situation into a beautiful celebration.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Robb Ross raise several good points.

      And the logline lacks a required piece of information:? what is the event planner’s objective goal, what is his purpose?? Is it a? selfless scheme to rescue the victim?? Or a selfish publicity stunt, to market himself?

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    2. Samurai

      If this is a dark comedy or satirical, consider something harsher than a hostage taking or state what makes this hostage situation a bigger deal than average.

      If it’s not a story where we root for the planner but enjoy his misguided approach, then again, is a hostage scenario meaty and dramatic enough?

      How does he make an event out of it when it’s a police situation? Does he setup in the interview office? Why would they allow that? Or does he setup a party tent nearby or take over an empty store? What would something like this actually accomplish? It’s one thing to be misguided in approach, but here it’s hard to see what he hopes to gain at the end. A reader can have fun with a character on the wrong path (due to desperation or ego or such ), but interest drops if the character is also dumb about it. Unless the comedy comes from his stupidity, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

      >> event planner on a job interview

      Confusing, since a planner meets potential clients. Is he looking for stable work and then sees an opportunity to do what he really likes?

      Would a female lead be better, considering the hostage is a man and assuming the criminal is a man?

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    3. Uberwriter

      ‘Decides to prove himself..’ is an action. What happens after this decision? Still, His Goal doesn’t relate to the Inciting Incident.

      ‘By turning the situation into a beautiful celebration’ is vague. More importantly: even if he achieves this, Why are we rooting for this character?

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