Veil of a Dream Longline
Veil of a Dream is a character-driven drama about an emotionally unstable teenager who must battle the torment of his manipulative friends, his scarred past, and his own haunted mind as he pursues a desire for love.
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This isn’t a logline, this is a review blurb for the back of a DVD cover.
Remember the simple guideline – when (inciting incident), (main character) must (perform task) and/to (achieve goal).
The same goes for your previous effort…
This isn’t a logline, this is a review blurb for the back of a DVD cover.
Remember the simple guideline – when (inciting incident), (main character) must (perform task) and/to (achieve goal).
The same goes for your previous effort…
As teenage love stories go there have been many iterations and for good reason. Teenage films are great because there is always interest in them and they find a market easily so good choice on the genre.
I think the goal for your MC is the love interest, so this could be a boy meets girl story. If so perhaps best to look into the most recent successful films that dealt with teenage love and see what made them work well and what made them original The Fault in Our Stars or Juno come to mind.
What is the inciting incident? By this I mean how does the MC meet the love interest? What is the obstacle? What is keeping the MC and love interest apart?
In this genre specifically, the obstacle is as important as the goal because all love stories are about people meeting each other, what sets the stories apart are the obstacles they need to overcome to be or stay together.
As for the logline best not to mention the title in the logline a strong title could rase expectations for elements that are not in the logline and a weak title may detract from the read of the logline.
Lastly best not to spell out the genre instead let the reader deduct from your story elements what genre it is in, this is added proof that your concept is strong.
Hope this helps.
As teenage love stories go there have been many iterations and for good reason. Teenage films are great because there is always interest in them and they find a market easily so good choice on the genre.
I think the goal for your MC is the love interest, so this could be a boy meets girl story. If so perhaps best to look into the most recent successful films that dealt with teenage love and see what made them work well and what made them original The Fault in Our Stars or Juno come to mind.
What is the inciting incident? By this I mean how does the MC meet the love interest? What is the obstacle? What is keeping the MC and love interest apart?
In this genre specifically, the obstacle is as important as the goal because all love stories are about people meeting each other, what sets the stories apart are the obstacles they need to overcome to be or stay together.
As for the logline best not to mention the title in the logline a strong title could rase expectations for elements that are not in the logline and a weak title may detract from the read of the logline.
Lastly best not to spell out the genre instead let the reader deduct from your story elements what genre it is in, this is added proof that your concept is strong.
Hope this helps.
>>he pursues a desire for love.
Too general. All (normal) humans pursue a desire for love. A plot needs a specific love interest. And specific stakes. What does he stand to lose if he fails to win her affection? What does he stand to gain if he succeeds? And his manipulative “friends” must be framed in the logline (and the story) as an obstacle, as a major complication to his objective goal, more than a tangential aggravation.
>>he pursues a desire for love.
Too general. All (normal) humans pursue a desire for love. A plot needs a specific love interest. And specific stakes. What does he stand to lose if he fails to win her affection? What does he stand to gain if he succeeds? And his manipulative “friends” must be framed in the logline (and the story) as an obstacle, as a major complication to his objective goal, more than a tangential aggravation.