A young operator for a call center finds her next call with a depressed man intend to suicide,so she must help him.
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This is a great idea, because it could be done for no budget and uploaded to the internet.
However the logline is not compelling.
I’ll give it a try but the logline may still be missing that one extra thing.
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“When a Telemarketer’s last call turns out to be a suicidal farmer, realizing she may be his last hope, she stays with him on the line to talk him out of killing himself.”
The telemarketer needs to have a personal problem or flaw that relates to the dramatic situation created by the suicidal caller. ?How about having her on the verge of committing suicide, too? ?She’s working ?a lousy, dead end job, feels trapped in a dead end life, is planning to kill herself after her shift ends.
And then she gets the call.
fwiw
Good suggestions by DPG and Richiev.
I’ll add that this should be a drama instead of a thriller, as it really hinges on the human connection made between two strangers.
Also, it could work well as a 5 min short but I couldn’t see this as much longer than that.
I agree with DPG about her needing to overcome something in the process, not sure being suicidal can work though – it’s good but in a short film limited to shots around either end of a phone conversation it may not work. What if her flaw was being an outright bitch, and I mean a really nasty piece of work. This could be established by her treatment of coworkers and clients on the phone – self-centered, impatient and simply unpleasant in every way. But when she realizes a man’s life is in her hands she learns a valuable life lesson. Just a thought.
There was a movie called “phone booth” that could be used as an example of a story between two people in which most of the dialog is over a phone.
In this, you could use a computer camera to shoot the telemarketer, You just need to make the low budget set look like they are in a cubicle
Then use a regular camera for the suicidal man. Maybe a bedroom set,
I would begin with the opening credits as the suicidal man prepares the items he will use to kill himself. A photo of his ex. a gun, some bullets, some vodka.
Switch to the telemarketer, she needs one more successful ‘yes’ if she is to be top salesman (There may even be a leader board) so she will stay late. Everyone else leaves. “Turn the lights off when you leave!” “Will do!” She is hungry for that last sale.
The suicidal man lays some plastic on his bed, kisses the photo, takes a shot, puts the gun to his head… RING… RING… RING.
a moment of hesitation, then he answers the phone.
The story begins.
>>>not sure being suicidal can work though
I think her being suicidal will work because it gives her a compelling character arc: to wit, in the process of talking the man out of suicide, she also talks herself.
Part of the standard definition of the protagonist is that she is a character who undergoes a character arc. ?If she is not the only character to arc, she is the designated character to undergo the primary character arc ?that underscores the theme of the story.
The suicidal man’s character arc is obvious: he doesn’t kill himself, seeks counseling. ?Well, if she’s the protagonist then what is her character arc?