When a 21-year-old delves into the world of mathematics, he uncovers a profound cosmic connection that resonates throughout the universe. However, his life takes an unexpected turn when he encounters an actress chosen by a wealthy entrepreneur to replace his own missing daughter, who happens to be the young man’s lost love.
Alan SmitheePenpusher
When a 21-year-old delves into the world of mathematics, he uncovers a profound cosmic connection that resonates throughout the universe. However, his life takes an unexpected turn when he encounters an actress chosen by a wealthy entrepreneur to replace his own missing daughter, who happens to be the young man’s lost love.
Share
You have two inciting incidents… that is one inciting incident too many.
When a 21-year-old delves into the world of mathematics, he uncovers a profound cosmic connection that resonates throughout the universe. (There is no conflict)
When a 21-year-old encounters an actress chosen by a wealthy entrepreneur to replace his missing daughter, who happens to be the young man’s lost love, he must… (Then tell us what he must do)
I would choose one of these stories to concentrate on for the logline. That doesn’t mean both stories won’t be in the finished script, it just means for the logline you should tell the ‘main’ story.
Dude with a problem example:
Enlightened by the theory of cosmic connections, a recluse mathematician sets in motion a collision course with a wealthy entrepreneur seeking to replace his missing daughter with an actress – the theorist’s former lost love.