When a 40 year old anal retentive, but lovable single woman’s pain in the ass, but loveable father is diagnosed with dementia, her distorted sense of obligation to fulfill a childhood promise to her dying mother, almost costs her her lifelong dream of getting married and having a family of her own.

A logline is a *short* statement about the plot. That is, a character’s struggle to acheive *specific*, *concrete* goal. This logline hints action having to do with fulfilling a promise — but we haven’t a clue what the promise is. We don’t know what *specifically* is her objective goal. And not knowing what the goal is we don’t know whether it might be worth a producer’s time to read the script, worth a director’s time to make the movie, worth an audience’s time to watch it.

Be specific.

>>almost costs her her lifelong dream of getting married and having a family of her own.

This seems to give away the ending, something a logline should never do.

Finally, the logline is 52 words long. Ideally, a logline should come in under 25 words in length.

For loglines, less is more.