Logliner
Posted: 2017-12-12T11:26:08+10:00 In:

When a black high school football star mysteriously disappears, his four daring friends and their dog set out to find him, unraveling the dark and sinister secrets of their town.

When a black high school football star mysteriously disappears, his four daring friends and their dog set out to find him, unraveling the dark and sinister secrets of their town.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Uberwriter

      Again sinister secrets, that?s right they all voted for Trump, they all eat with their hands, they have a growing porn industry.

      Specifics are your friend. I wouldn?t be bothered asking for the script because…. well I want to know I am going to read something new and fresh. This could be very predictable.

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    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      >>> Four daring friends

      Better to narrow it down, tag one character as the protagonist. He (or she) can have allies who help, but it is better if the logline designates one alpha character,? a first among equals, who organizes and leads the search party.

      >>> and their dog

      Okay in the script, but unnecessary in the logline.

      >>>>unraveling the dark and sinister secrets of their town.

      “Dark and sinister” –redundant: pick one.

      Also, frame “secrets” directly in terms of an obstacle to be overcome, not a discovery made.? That is, unraveling dark secrets are not coincidental discoveries in their search; rather, they are the obstacles and dangers they must overcome to achieve the objective goal.

      fwiw

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