When a broke musician is accidentally locked in a wine cellar with a rich beautiful socialite, he desperately attempts to woo her (and her wealth) before somebody comes to their rescue.
KWLogliner
When a broke musician is accidentally locked in a wine cellar with a rich beautiful socialite, he desperately attempts to woo her (and her wealth) before somebody comes to their rescue.
Share
While an impoverished musician and a rich socialite are accidentally and briefly trapped a wine cellar, he stokes his courage with wine in order to ask her for a date.
(30 words)
Or some such.? My point is that if you’re going to trap them in a wine cellar, then use the situation in the logline (and plot), use the booze.? Otherwise the wine cellar is a throw away, a? wasted opportunity for comedy. Might as well trap them in a malfunctioning elevator instead.
I’m invoking a dramatic principle on that point known as “Chekhov’s Gun”.? It’s named after the great Russian dramatist Anton Chekhov, who stated that “If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired.? Otherwise don’t put it there.”
fwiw
I?d find it a nice extra touch if there was immediacy to his problem. Maybe, not only is he broke, but…? He?ll be kicked out of his house tomorrow? A huge debt is about to be collected? His band is about to split up, unless he can fork over some money? Just some thoughts for extra spice.
Yes it could a great comedy that does not nessarily need to be a short movie.
you could also flip the script, the beautiful rich socialite may be the one chasing the broke musician.
he is suspicious and does not want to give in. Maybe she has only 8 hours left to lose her virginity/get married with the love of her life to inherit a huge fortune.
or make him a jerk who has a bet with his friends that he can bed her during the time he is locked with her. As every comedy, in the end, he learns his lesson and value true relationship over sex. Remember the movie:?The sure Thing. Great comedy based on similar concept. In the end the jerk and the attractive but domineering girl fall in love.
I like the “…and her wealth…” it adds a hint of comedy punctuation to the logline.
Agreed with DPG and Variable with regards to the format, it reads like a short and in that regard works well. I’d remove the beautiful part of the socialite’s description, it’s not her looks that define her but her money and if she isn’t beautiful it’s a bit funnier.
we are waiting for you to reply to dpg’s comment:
Is this for a full length feature film or a short?