Samurai
Posted: 2017-03-26T18:48:23+10:00 In:

When a businessman is injured in a car accident, he embarks on a quest to find the origin of a family heirloom in dangerous Brazilian jungle.

When a businessman is injured in a car accident, he embarks on a quest to find the origin of a family heirloom in dangerous Brazilian jungle.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      What does getting injured in a car accident have to do with embarking on a quest? He should find a hospital.

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    2. Samurai

      HEART OF THE JUNGLE –
      After a Machiavellian business tycoon is severly injured in a car accident and his estranged father helps him rehab, he realigns his focus and heads deep into the dangerous jungle of Brazil to find the origin of a family heirloom.

       

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    3. Singularity

      This attempt is a bit of a step backward. I would drop the accident angle and concentrate on making the inciting incident match the goal.

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    4. Singularity

      Hmm. ? The quest in all these iterations seem to be a story in search of a plot, a destination in search of a ?good reason to go.

      Whatever the inciting incident is, it should threaten a character vulnerability that in turn threatens the protagonist’s ability to achieve his objective goal. ?And I just don’t see that linkage in these iterations.

      Also, the heirloom needs to be a McGuffin, something everyone is after. ?There needs to be a rival to ratchet up ?the stakes, jeopardy and dramatic tension.

      fwiw

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