What Women Want
LarsLogliner
When a chauvinistic advertising exec gets the ability to hear what women are really thinking, he gets a shot at outmaneuvering the woman who stole his job.
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I think you did a great job, Lars. I haven’t seen the movie, but your logline captures the strengths of the concept.
We would empathise with the character because of the injustice done to him. Not every main character is a sweetheart, you know…
Well done!
Or how about:
A chauvinistic ad executive uses his mysteriously acquired ability to hear what women think to get?the woman who stole his promotion fired.
(23 words or 139 characters, concise enough for a tweet)
In this case “outmaneuver” ?translates into the more specific objective of defeating her. ?When she packs up and vacates her office and/or Nick is given her position — that’s the visual that tells the audience he’s won.
Of course, it turns out to be the wrong objective goal. ?Which he eventually comes to realize and that insight motivates his ultimate dilemma and final redemption.
Hi Lars,
Good attempt, but much like in the case of your own logline, this lacks a clear goal. “…outmaneuvering a woman…”? is vague as it could mean any number of things. You would need, as DPG demonstrated, to specify what it is he intends to do in order to outmaneuver her.
The start is good, but she didn?t steal his job. He stole hers and she got fired. Then he had to choose between keeping the job he had earned by ill means, or admit what he had done for the respect of the woman he loves. When he confesses and gives her back her job that she earnt, she fires him as the first order of business. Even though he is rightfully fired, he gets the girl.
It is always good to practice writing high concept loglines (which are what they are best for) using existing films as case studies. This is an interesting one for two reasons:
One, because the concept is so similar to your own and clearly an inspiration. So studying what works and doesn’t with this logline and concept can be beneficial but be careful not to be too besotted with it as you don’t want it to too heavily influence your own that others associated your two ideas together.
Secondly, it is interesting because this is such an underwhelming film on it’s own merit. It has a strong concept and the cast is perfect but behind the camera and page it lacks a lot of heart — which reading your loglines I noticed too. Drop the malice in it and focus on the positivism of what you would do with the power. That’s my two cents.