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KnightriderMentor
When a desperate scientist uploads his dying wife's consciousness to a computer, he believes he has cheated death, but when she begins uploading others against their will, he'll lead a ragtag team into a virtual world to shut her down.
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Being a novice, I can’t see anything wrong with this logline. I like it. Also like the title.
Being a novice, I can’t see anything wrong with this logline. I like it. Also like the title.
Thanks! I actually have you to thank for the title as you reminded me about having a ‘Killer Title’
Thanks! I actually have you to thank for the title as you reminded me about having a ‘Killer Title’
This is an interesting concept but I find the logline a little confusing. Why is the scientist desperate? Is there a reason (beyond basic love) that he wants to save his wife’s conscious mind. If there is, make it clearer to up the tension. (Is there a secret/answer that he wasn’t able to uncover in her life?). Perhaps the word ‘grieving’ instead of ‘desperate’??
This is an interesting concept but I find the logline a little confusing. Why is the scientist desperate? Is there a reason (beyond basic love) that he wants to save his wife’s conscious mind. If there is, make it clearer to up the tension. (Is there a secret/answer that he wasn’t able to uncover in her life?). Perhaps the word ‘grieving’ instead of ‘desperate’??
Valid point, I guess I was trying to get across that he does love his wife and would do anything for her, that his initial act is one of kindness, although may not have been entirely thought it through. However, grieving is something I see this character as having to learn to do throughout the story, where perhaps he has been avoiding the fact that his wife is beyond saving because he is either responsible for her fate or just can bare the pain.
I do get your point though so I may work to tweak the character description.
Valid point, I guess I was trying to get across that he does love his wife and would do anything for her, that his initial act is one of kindness, although may not have been entirely thought it through. However, grieving is something I see this character as having to learn to do throughout the story, where perhaps he has been avoiding the fact that his wife is beyond saving because he is either responsible for her fate or just can bare the pain.
I do get your point though so I may work to tweak the character description.
The obvious demographic target for the story is geeks, nerds, computer savants. Rather than the term “ragtag” which may convey the wrong negative impression, I suggest appealing to their intelligence with the term “code warriors”. The team may be “ragtag” in their lifestyle and backgrounds, but they can’t be ragtag in terms of their skill set. When it comes to hacking, they have to be the A team.
The obvious demographic target for the story is geeks, nerds, computer savants. Rather than the term “ragtag” which may convey the wrong negative impression, I suggest appealing to their intelligence with the term “code warriors”. The team may be “ragtag” in their lifestyle and backgrounds, but they can’t be ragtag in terms of their skill set. When it comes to hacking, they have to be the A team.