When a family skiing trip ends in the murder of her parents, a sheltered teenager must lead her friends through a blizzard to escape a gang of vengeful hunters.
The_CNISamurai
When a family skiing trip ends in the murder of her parents, a sheltered teenager must lead her friends through a blizzard to escape a gang of vengeful hunters.
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Sheltered doesn?t add anything to her struggle and it isn?t really an personality that is easily identifiable.
Vengeful about what?
This has more confusion than mystery.
Plus focusing on setting and an inciting incident can bury the story.
A teenage girl must lead her friends through a blizzard pursued by the hunters that murdered her parents on their family skiing holiday.
Even so. A bit monotone. Does she fight back? Does she try and turn the tables?
What can you tell the reader to make them interested?
Agree with Craig,
also this is one of those instances (mentioned by Richiev) as having a bigger inciting incident than the plot that proceeds it. Is it possible to not kill the parents in the Inciting incident?
That kind of triggers the ‘defeatist’ in an audience and they get to think: “it cannot get any worse…” To make it ‘page turning’ becomes harder
Good Luck The_CNI!
When her parents are murdered during a ski trip, a sheltered teenage must evade mercenaries pursuants through blizzard ?and reach the safety of a resort on the other side of the mountain.
So her parents were murdered by hunters who were pissed at them about something and who now want to hurt her and her friends as well?