When a find of ancient coins is stolen, a policeman must track a cold case from Nazi Germany to catch a Gestapo Officer’s murderous grandson.
RussellNSamurai
When a find of ancient coins is stolen, a policeman must track a cold case from Nazi Germany to catch a Gestapo Officer’s murderous grandson.
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I am a little confused about this story. It seems as though the coins are stolen in the present, but you refer to it as a ‘cold case’ It would just be a case.
Also I don’t think you can track a case. you would track a person, you would investigate a case.
However it does seem like an interesting idea, I would clarify the wording so the logline isn’t as confusing.
“When a find of ancient coins is stolen, a policeman must track a cold case from Nazi Germany to catch a Gestapo Officer?s murderous grandson.”
The inciting incident doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the goal. What do these coins have to do with the cold case, and the grandson the cop is trying to stop? That needs to be made clear. ?It also needs to be made clear how solving the cold case leads to catching the grandson.
On another note you have a hook, the tie-in to Nazi Germany, but you don’t have a personal connection for the cop. Why is he/she doing this? What happens if they don’t catch the killer, what personal stakes are there?