Logliner
Posted: 2020-06-07T17:12:39+10:00 In:

When a global pandemic strikes, a construction crew in the midst of building a mysterious billionaire’s remote New Zealand bunker attempt to save themselves by sheltering inside it. However, they risk their own lives when their client arrives wanting to use it and they refuse to leave.

–

Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    4 Reviews

    1. Samurai

      Hi!

      A few things for you:

      • Construction crew is not the best description for your main characters. A little vague. Try to punch it down and use a clearer formulation.
      • They hide inside the bunker, and their client wants to use it as well. Well, they could use it all together, not?
      • They refuse to leave? Okay. But what happens after that? Are they going to fight each other? Are they going to kill him? They are a crew, so they could easily stay inside the bunker and not let him in. This makes not sense to me.
      • Your logline formula is okay. But you have to shorten it, it’s too long right now with 47 words.
      • 0
    2. Penpusher

      Your logline is solid, it contains the main conflict, the stakes, the characters, and it suggests a genre as well. The only issue is that it’s too long.

      • 0
    3. Logliner

      Well, the premise looks interesting, but I have to agree with savinh0. I don’t even see how this would even work as a Feature script.

      You marked it as being a thriller, so I assume it will be something more along the lines of “cabin in the woods” kind of feel. But, its a bunker. A bunker is made with the intent of keeping whatever is outside from getting in when closed. And it does the client no good to destroy the bunker to get in because then they can not use it. All in all, this idea is a bit flawed mate. I suggest revising.

      • 0
    4. Logliner

      A fractious construction crew takes refuge in a survival bunker when a deadly pandemic breaks out but must unite to fight eviction when the owner and his ruthless security arrive.

      • 0