When a hardcore gamer learns the true nature of an horrific childhood experience, he must face the little black evil that tormented him as a child again.
Billy14Samurai
When a hardcore gamer learns the true nature of an horrific childhood experience, he must face the little black evil that tormented him as a child again.
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Okay. I’ll pm you the full logline. Can I find you on Facebook?
If you think more people need to comment on it then I’ll post it here.
You’re going to find it hard to discuss your story with other people, something that’s necessarr for any proffessional writer.? As it stands now, your logline presents too few story elements for us to provide you with much help. No one can guarantee that your ideas won’t be stolen, but loglines are pitched daily in the industry – normally a lack of experience will prevent writers from sharing their loglines.
From what you did write, the logline doesn’t describe an action and goal. This means that the reader doesn’t know what the MC will do, what the MC wants to acheieve and what motivates him. Essentially, this doesn’t describe a plot and therefore doesn’t describe a story. As I said, not enough information for us to be helpful.
PM me with your full logline and I’ll review it in private. However, I strongly suggest you share it with the rest of the community as there are many great opinions you’ll be missing out on.
I’m hiding the ball. I know that. I know the description is vague and yes, there is a way for me to just come out and say it. But, I can’t do it here. This project I’ve been working on for years now has caused me no end of heartache and despair. And I don’t planning on losing it now because someone steals my idea, or even a small piece of it.
The core of my story is solid as a rock. It’s the inciting incident that’s got me spinning. I have about 30 different stories that the core story can plug into but been struggling to decide which is the best.
Came to the conclusion that my logline is shaky and need to sort it out before starting to write again. The DNA is screwy. So, I figure if I can fix it I can finish this story. And get onto the others.
Just want to say thank you so much for your help. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. I have no one to talk to about these things. And find that you guys here are amazing to keeping writers on the straight and narrow.
THANK YOU!
“When a hardcore gamer learns the true nature of an horrific childhood experience, he must face the little black evil that tormented him as a child again.”
The logline suffers from vague descriptions. What is the true nature of this childhood experience? Is there a way to describe it in a clear way in only a few words? What is the “little black evil” he must face?
A logline is used to pitch your script to someone who can make it into a movie. Make them want to read the script. Using vague descriptions tells them nothing about the script and potentially hides something that could hook them, make them want to read the script.
I admit, I haven’t watched many horror movies, but even then this movie suggests nothing different from the movies I have seen or heard about. What is something unique or cool that will make a producer want to read this script. What is the hook? Don’t be vague about it, put it front and center in the logline. Make it grab the reader’s attention.