When a humiliated teen gets the ability to see the desires of anyone he touches, he gets a shot at outmaneuvering the girl who brought him down.

I think the concept is a potential gold mine for comedy. ?But I suggest it needs more prospecting for ideas, ?more refining of the raw ore.

I would like to observe that an “unsympathetic” ?character trait ?may work well for the logline of one genre and the same trait may not work so well in another. ? Related to that is the question of who is the prime target for the film, who constitutes market demographic to whom the story appeals?

The prime demographic audience for “What Women Want” was adults. ?And I submit that demographic was more open to an initially “unsympathetic” character particularly for the genre (romantic comedy). ? One reason is that adults understand and accept that it’s a dog-eat-dog ?world in advertising, ?where careers can be made or destroyed in one advertising campaign. To wit, the character trait in its context.

No then, what is the prime demographic for this story? ?Who is the movie going to be marketed to? ?Teenagers, right?

And what kind of character is more appealing to teenagers? ?Who would they like to see with this god-like power, this ability to “visualize” minds? ?Who would they be more likely to root for? ?An underdog who uses this power to climb the social ladder at school, score a date to the prom with the homecoming queen (a very visual objective goal)?

?Or a top-dog, or ex-top dog, who trying to maintain or recover his status by getting revenge on the girl who dumped and humiliated him?

I submit the more appealing character is the underdog. ?Because most teenagers are underdogs, so it’s easy and obvious for them to identify with and root for an underdog.. ?And because he has a positive objective goal that is also a Big Dream — one of the biggest dreams a teenager can aspire to — 2nd only to winning the ?championship game which also enables him to score with the hottest girl on campus.

In contrast, seeking revenge by a top dog, or ex-top dog, is a negative objective goal. ?And how many teens can identify and root for a top-dog or and ex-top dog who may deserve to be dumped or dissed?

(Obviously, my observations are refracted through my own, uh, “dog status” as a teenager.)

Finally, does the protagonist have to be a boy? ?Have you considered making the protagonist an underdog girl? ?What could she do with that power?

fwiw

While fantastic stories don’t need an explanation for magic, they do need an inciting incident. ?And with the incident comes an implied switch ?or condition that will turn off the magic. ?Or a ?deadline, a ticking clock — like in the fairy tale of ?Cinderella.

And the magic must be directly relevant to the plot, to the character’s dramatic problem. ?Whatever the teenager visualizes must seem to be the solution to his problem. Initially that is, and then…

So in the logline, the magic should be defined in relation to the character’s objective goal, the problem he needs to solve.