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Charles D' AmPenpusher
Posted: September 26, 20162016-09-26T10:13:49+10:00 2016-09-26T10:13:49+10:00In: Drama

When a well connected journalist gets double-crossed by a damaged and psychologically abused terrorist, she must find a way to stop her before she releases a biological weapon on an unsuspecting city.

When a well connected journalist gets double-crossed by a damaged and psychologically abused terrorist, she must find a way to stop her before she releases a biological weapon on an unsuspecting city.
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    2 Reviews

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    1. Dkpough1 Uberwriter
      2016-09-26T10:47:30+10:00Added an answer on September 26, 2016 at 10:47 am

      “When a journalist gets double-crossed by a terrorist seeking power, She must figure out a way to stop her before civilisation is destroyed.”

      What specific event? What does the terrorist do to double-cross her? What is the terrorist’s goal that the journalist must stop? And why not just call the cops?
      If you haven’t already, review the Training tab at the top of the page.
      The inciting incident doesn’t create motivation for the protagonist to pursue her goal. What about this betrayal makes her have to stop a terrorist? Why not the cops? Why would the terrorist want to destroy civilization?(In other words, it sounds like a one-note villain who is just evil so the protagonist has someone to punch when the time comes.)

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    2. Nwales06 Penpusher
      2016-09-26T10:33:22+10:00Added an answer on September 26, 2016 at 10:33 am

      Overall this longline is fine, but you don’t need to mention that the terrorist is “seeking power”.

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