Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
savinh0Samurai
Posted: January 31, 20172017-01-31T04:50:36+10:00 2017-01-31T04:50:36+10:00In: Romance

When a nostalgic unemployed returns to Greece to prevent the sale of his beloved grand parents house, he meets his sandbox love as a badass broker who needs every cent during the financial crisis.

When a nostalgic unemployed returns to Greece to prevent the sale of his beloved grand parents house, he meets his sandbox love as a badass broker who needs every cent during the financial crisis.
  • 0
  • 5 5 Reviews
  • 673 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    5 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-02-01T10:59:34+10:00Added an answer on February 1, 2017 at 10:59 am

      Agreed with Erica and Judah.

      Best to use commonly understood terms for clarity’s sake, rather than obscure, albeit technically correct, ones.

      If the A plot is about him saving the house then the love story could be omitted from the logline – it feels like you’re trying to describe two plots.

      You describe his return to Greece as the inciting incident, but according to your explanation, it should be the house being put up for sale. Him returning to Greece is, therefore, a subsequent action he takes on his way to achieving the goal.

      Maybe it’s just me, but I feel that the problem is (to quote McKee) not story worthy – a character being nostalgic and not wanting the grandparents home sold means: worst case home is sold, best case it isn’t – not much gained, lost or learned by the MC.

      Could there be more at stake? Perhaps developers wanting to flatten the neighborhood? Or, the house sits on a large estate and the nature reserve is at stake? As long as there is something more than just him feeling a bit better or worse about the official ownership of the house.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. Judah Ray Logliner
      2017-02-01T05:40:24+10:00Added an answer on February 1, 2017 at 5:40 am

      I love movies set in Grece. A few questions.. I am also confused by the first sentence. An unemployed what? Also, “sandbox love” is a term I’ve never heard before. Is the broker he meets selling the house? You may want to tighten this one up before submitting.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. Erica Samurai
      2017-02-01T01:51:37+10:00Added an answer on February 1, 2017 at 1:51 am

      I’m a little confused on what a “nostalgic unemployed” is.? Also I’m not sure what is meant by “sandbox love”.? I think this may have a potential for a cute romantic story, but, I’m a little unclear by the wording right now.

      When his grand parents house goes up for sale,? a sentimental but unemployed man returns to Greece to prevent the lose only to fall in love with the broker who is selling it.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    4. dpg Singularity
      2017-01-31T13:38:47+10:00Added an answer on January 31, 2017 at 1:38 pm

      Are his grandparents still alive? ?If not, ?is he heir to the property?

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    5. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-01-31T09:26:31+10:00Added an answer on January 31, 2017 at 9:26 am

      Is the A plot the love story or preventing the house from being sold?

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 7,997
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,710

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.