This logline is for a TV series that already exists and is part of an exercise for the Screen Canberra Developer POD
Alan SmitheePenpusher
When a pie-maker with the ability to bring people back from the dead, revives his child-hood sweetheart, he and his detective side kick work to find her killer before the killer strikes again.
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I think you’ve nailed the engine of the show.
But seeing it written down like that, it’s hard to imagine how that story is going to play out over multiple episodes/seasons.
Also, it’s missing the irony that kind of hooked me on the concept, ie. he can’t touch the love of his life or she’ll be dead again. They’re reunited, but can never physically express their love. I wonder if there is some way of including that in the logline, or whether, with everything else going on, it’ll just end up feeling like a hat-on-a-hat.
Is the pie making integral to this story concept? If so, it is not clear from your logline. If not, perhaps leave it out. It seems unusual that a pie maker would have a detective as a sidekick. It is an interesting mix but you risk confusing the reader.