Logliner
Posted: 2018-09-01T11:54:04+10:00 In:

When a smash repair shop explodes, a declining Barrister must infringe his professional code by encouraging his son to restore justice by convincing a Court to set aside his own client?s acquittal.

When a smash repair shop explodes, a declining Barrister must infringe his professional code by encouraging his son to restore justice by convincing a Court to set aside his own client?s acquittal.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      The goal of the protagonist is simply to encourage his son to restore justice. Why not make the son be the protagonist who goes to his father, an ailing ex-judge, for help on getting the acquittal. The protagonist really needs to be the person who has the biggest job to do and in this case, in my opinion, it’s the son. The third act will possibly be taking place in a court room where the son is arguing the case? As I’ve said before, I know very little of this sort of thing but, cinematically speaking, that’s where I want it to end – like A Few Good Men or any other good court room drama.

      There is some ambiguity as to what the son does. To me it’s not 100% clear whose client it is.

      There is also no connection between the inciting incident and the rest of the story. You need to clarify that the client is the one who blew up the repair shop otherwise there’s nothing tying it together. (Or at least that the barrister believes it’s his client). Why a smash repair shop? Why now? What makes the barrister think it’s his client doing the deed? More cohesion is required.

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    2. Singularity

      Here’s my issue with the basic premise.? The professional code of an attorney in criminal procedure is to give his client the best possible defense.? Period, full stop.? Even if he suspects, even if he knows his client is as guilty as sin. At least, that’s the way it’s supposed to work in American courts.? And every defense attorney can tell stories of clients who they successfully defended who they knew were guilty as sin.

      So to ethically and dramatically justify an attorney violating the professional code, the crime he knows or comes to know his client committed cannot be any old run-of-the-mill felony.? ?An extraordinary breaking of the rules requires an extraordinary provocation. It must be an absolutely atrocious, heinous, morally repugnant, damnable deed.? And so far, in all the iterations, we have been given no clue as to what makes the crime so extraordinary as to incite .to justify the extraordinary action of violating the professional code.

      What is this story supposed to be about?? What is the singular theme that unifies all the elements?

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    3. Samurai

      I would throw a twist. Make the son the protagonist and a cop/FBI agent/prosecutor. ?Put him in the situation where he had to decide whether to use information revealed to him by the father during one of his alzheimer episodes. Then the son has a dilemna.
      Should I keep quiet and let a terrorist go free, use the information without revealing my source (that may have implication for the father if he still does some consulting work)?
      Also can the son tries to trick his father or even induce episodes in his father to prevent further bloodshed?

      When the guilty terrorist his lawyer father helped getting acquitted starts a new campaign of terror, a prosecutor must break professional code to extract from his father who now has early onset of Alzheimer information to stop further bloodshed.

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