Rent a family
?When a workaholic single gay man travel to a conservative russian business convent, he must engaged a family of strangers to act as his own, to get the important business deal, but the family turns out to be – the family from hell"
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There are a few grammatical errors in this, and there is a lot of exposition that is not really important to the plot of the story. Is his being gay really relevant or at all a key item of the story? Or just his character? Logline should give more the idea, than a full description of the character. Usually when I go on business trips, I don’t bring my family, so the whole business convention doesn’t really do anything for me. More than anything, it seems like you are trying to deal with two big stories: 1) Being gay and having to hide this fact because of Russia’s ridiculous and narrow-minded view of homosexuals; 2) Dealing with a family that is demonic (or whatever). You could honestly split this up into two separate stories. The first is uninteresting and as pointless as Russia’s homophobia. There is no story, as that would suggest that gay men can only hide their sexuality through others, and that to me is nonsense. I love woman, but can go to another country without hitting on any. Could be more interesting if the businessman has a love interest there, or meets someone, and they must hide their longing for each other.
The second story is interesting, but tough to find a situation plausible for hiring an estranged family to pose as your own. Why can’t he use his own family? Where did he find this family? What made him think: These people could totally work. I would try and focus on one central idea to the story you have in mind; maybe give me more details of what direction you want to go.
There are a few grammatical errors in this, and there is a lot of exposition that is not really important to the plot of the story. Is his being gay really relevant or at all a key item of the story? Or just his character? Logline should give more the idea, than a full description of the character. Usually when I go on business trips, I don’t bring my family, so the whole business convention doesn’t really do anything for me. More than anything, it seems like you are trying to deal with two big stories: 1) Being gay and having to hide this fact because of Russia’s ridiculous and narrow-minded view of homosexuals; 2) Dealing with a family that is demonic (or whatever). You could honestly split this up into two separate stories. The first is uninteresting and as pointless as Russia’s homophobia. There is no story, as that would suggest that gay men can only hide their sexuality through others, and that to me is nonsense. I love woman, but can go to another country without hitting on any. Could be more interesting if the businessman has a love interest there, or meets someone, and they must hide their longing for each other.
The second story is interesting, but tough to find a situation plausible for hiring an estranged family to pose as your own. Why can’t he use his own family? Where did he find this family? What made him think: These people could totally work. I would try and focus on one central idea to the story you have in mind; maybe give me more details of what direction you want to go.
Thanks, I also think the second is the best. hmm We was thinking it could be something like the movie “Blind date” or also like despicable me. But We need to come up with why and how he needs to use a family.
Thanks, I also think the second is the best. hmm We was thinking it could be something like the movie “Blind date” or also like despicable me. But We need to come up with why and how he needs to use a family.