Logliner
Posted: 2017-03-18T19:29:33+10:00 In:

When an affair leads a recluse yachtsman and cameo actress to discover one another career tramps they team up to fleece the jet set but recluses ex returns to love and revenge as an IRS sting – SuperTramps

When an affair leads a recluse yachtsman and cameo actress to discover one another career tramps they team up to fleece the jet set but recluses ex returns to love and revenge as an IRS sting – SuperTramps
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    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      You’ve got two characters. ?You’ve got a relationship. You’ve got a discovery. ?And you’ve got a hook — the duo are living the life (and lie) as super tramps, flying beggars.?

      You’ve got many of the basic ingredients for a good logline and script –but not all. And also lacking is the recipe ?that combines them all together? Which is to say, the logline lacks a plot.

      So, exactly what is “the tangle” they get into? ? As a result of the relationship and the discovery, what becomes their mutual objective goal? Who/what opposes them? ?What’s are the stakes?

      • 0
    2. Uberwriter

      Also, I would remove the comma. It’s not necessary and slows the read.

      • 0
    3. Singularity

      Does the story begin when they discover each other is the impostor or does the story end with the discovery?
      Does the audience know that each is an impostor or is it a big reveal…
      Because different scenarios will change how the logline is written.

      • 0
    4. Singularity

      Agreed with the above comments. Also this sounds like a great setup for a comedy more so than a thriller.

      • 0