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mbshearmanPenpusher
Posted: June 8, 20162016-06-08T09:38:27+10:00 2016-06-08T09:38:27+10:00In: Fantasy

When a young tribesman is old enough to become a ?man?, he is tasked to kill his first animal, or be outcast in his tribe. After internal debate, he decides not to take the life of an animal and accepts being outcasted in the tribe.

When a young tribesman is old enough to become a ?man?, he is tasked to kill his first animal, or be outcast in his tribe. After internal debate, he decides not to take the life of an animal and accepts being outcasted in the tribe.
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    1. mbshearman Penpusher
      2016-06-08T09:57:48+10:00Added an answer on June 8, 2016 at 9:57 am

      When a young tribesman is old enough to become a ?man?, he is tasked to kill his first animal, or be outcast in his tribe. After internal debate, he doesn?t kill the animal and accepts being outcasted in the tribe.

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    2. Dkpough1 Uberwriter
      2016-06-08T11:14:56+10:00Added an answer on June 8, 2016 at 11:14 am

      A logline should describe a plot. This is a situation.
      What is the protagonist’s goal? You don’t state that in the logline. What is the driving him, what is the reason for the story existing? And, what does he do to achieve the goal?
      Example: When a young tribesman is tasked with killing his first animal, he must find a way to trick his elders into believing he killed an animal or else he will be exiled.
      One thing is that you need to establish why he doesn’t want to kill the animal. Is he a pacifist? Otherwise, if he’s in a tribe that kills, he would likely hold the same beliefs and would have no qualms about killing.

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2016-06-08T13:13:20+10:00Added an answer on June 8, 2016 at 1:13 pm

      What is the story about? ?Coming to his decision to be an outcast rather than kill the animal? ?Or what happens after he makes his decision and ?is cast out?

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    4. dpg Singularity
      2016-06-11T07:54:42+10:00Added an answer on June 11, 2016 at 7:54 am

      >>>After internal debate, he doesn?t kill the animal and accepts being outcasted in the tribe.

      Is that how the story ends? ?If so, that part shouldn’t be in the logline. ?A logline should raise a dramatic question, but it should never, ever give away the answer to that question, how the story ends.

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