When a young video store clerk receives a proposition to make a snuff movie from a mysterious man, he decides to convince his friend to kidnap a girl and make the movie.
JmarbePenpusher
When a young video store clerk receives a proposition to make a snuff movie from a mysterious man, he decides to convince his friend to kidnap a girl and make the movie.
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It’s definitely got potential, but here is a more concise version that I think captures the essence in fewer words:
After a video store clerk receives a mysterious proposition to make a snuff movie, he convinces his friend to kidnap a girl in order to make it…
I put the ellipses at the end because I think something could be added that maybe focuses in on the moral dilemma or the stakes a bit more.
For example, you could say something like “After a young video store clerk receives a mysterious proposition to make a snuff movie, he convinces his friend to kidnap a girl in order to make it, but things take an unexpected turn when they realize she’s a serial killer.”
That’s not perfect either as you ideally want to aim for a logline that’s 30 words or less, but hopefully that will get you on the right track! 🙂