Penpusher
Posted: 2017-11-09T05:53:12+10:00 In:

When an alien hunts a woman, she must stop the alien and save the ones captured by him.

When an alien hunts a woman, she must stop the alien and save the ones captured by him.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Uberwriter

      That seems obvious and doesn?t sell me on the film. Specific details can be your friend when wetting and appetite.

      To escape a murderous alien and save fellow captures a woman must ……

      Or pursued by a ……. rather than escape.

      But after the dots is where you can tell me what makes this your story. Your original one could be a number of films. What makes yours better?

      Hope this helps

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    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      A few specifics would help us visualize the story. Here would be an example of adding a few specifics.
      ————————————-
      “When a struggling professional wrestler is hunted by a flesh eating Alien, she must use her body slamming skills to defeat the alien and release the townsfolk held captive by the creature.”

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    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Agreed with Craig and Richiev, worth noting that a story should be described within a given time frame – a starting point (inciting incident) and end point (goal). By writing “…an alien hunts a woman…” you’re not describing a single incident or point in time rather a period of time – how long has the hunt been going on for and how long will it go on for?

      Best to use more time specific rhetoric in a logline such as: After an alien attacks a woman…

      • 0