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JasonFPenpusher
Posted: October 26, 20162016-10-26T22:33:36+10:00 2016-10-26T22:33:36+10:00In: Thriller

When an anonymous series of leaks takes down an illegal arms deal, a former FBI profiler must find the source before the private assassins of a corrupt politician. Coming to terms with the source will force the human race to address the deepest held beliefs and divisions in a world where there can be no secrets.

When an anonymous series of leaks takes down an illegal arms deal, a former FBI profiler must find the source before the private assassins of a corrupt politician. Coming to terms with the source will force the human race to address the deepest held beliefs and divisions in a world where there can be no secrets.
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    4 Reviews

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    1. DavidI Logliner
      2016-11-02T14:10:22+10:00Added an answer on November 2, 2016 at 2:10 pm

      With the second half removed, the logline promises a great political thriller in store. While intriguing, you might want to consider reordering the first few words, i.e, “When a series of anonymous leaks” as opposed to “When an anonymous series of leaks”. ?A bit of nitpicking, I know, but it might read a?little better. Good luck with the script!

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    2. JasonF Penpusher
      2016-10-27T17:18:48+10:00Added an answer on October 27, 2016 at 5:18 pm

      This has been a great help so far, I didn?t appreciate until now just how critical it is to get the logline right before starting out on the script.

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2016-10-27T04:05:57+10:00Added an answer on October 27, 2016 at 4:05 am

      Isn’t taking down an illegal arms deal a good thing? ?What is the specific dramatic problem it creates? It’s still unclear what the antagonists are up to. ?”Before the private assassins…” ?well, do what exactly?after they find the source?

      And what’s at stake?

      And what’s the cause-and-effect relationship between the leaker and the assassins?

      In less than 30 words. ?If you haven’t already done so, please check out “Training” at the top of the web page for some guidelines on writing an industry acceptable logline.

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    4. oozaru Logliner
      2016-10-26T23:36:40+10:00Added an answer on October 26, 2016 at 11:36 pm

      Hi JasonF,

      I?d remove the second part of your logline, i?think its better?like that:

      When an anonymous series of leaks takes down an illegal arms deal, a former FBI profiler must find the source before the private assassins of a corrupt politician.

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