Penpusher
Posted: 2021-08-29T02:57:48+10:00 In:

When a languorous girl is warped through space-time reincarnating in the bodies of famous women after crying for the very first time, she needs to find a way out of limbo before she’ll be trapped forever.

The Weeping Woman

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    3 Reviews

    1. This could be a cool fantasy/adventure film! It seems like a family film peppered with darker moments. From reading certain words (“time-space”, “warped”), I thought your story was science-fiction, until I saw that you’ve listed it fantasy. I like the descriptor for your MC. “Time-space” sounds awkward to me. If I’m not mistaken, it’s called space-time, or you could say time and space. “The very first tears of her lifetime” is too wordy. Instead, you could write: her first tears. “Her ability”, you should specify what her ability is. “Mysterious man”, I think your antagonist needs a stronger descriptor.

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    2. I like the title! “Languorous” is too uncommon a word, I had to look it up. I think apathetic is an accurate and recognizable adjective to use for your MC. “Reincarnating” usually relates to death. I would put she: swaps bodies. I wish there was a more concise term to use. I imagine the phenomenon you describe is a one-way body-swap situation. I surmise “limbo” is what you call the event of your MC being warped through space-time. Limbo also relates to death and without explaining its meaning in the context of your story, could be interpreted incorrectly. I would instead write something like: find a way back home before it’s too late.

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