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rcrownLogliner
Posted: December 7, 20172017-12-07T14:23:56+10:00 2017-12-07T14:23:56+10:00In: Thriller

When an black high school football star mysteriously disappears, his four friends and their dog set out to find him, discovering that things are much more sinister than they seem.

When an black high school football star mysteriously disappears, his four friends and their dog set out to find him, discovering that things are much more sinister than they seem.
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    4 Reviews

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    1. Best Answer
      CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2017-12-07T15:24:30+10:00Added an answer on December 7, 2017 at 3:24 pm

      A person disappearing is pretty sinister. You need to be specific. Imagine you have to make a decision on funding. Do you have enough information here?

      A single serial killer or an army of racist zombies? What?s the movie.

      Hope this helps

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    2. Best Answer
      Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2017-12-07T15:49:01+10:00Added an answer on December 7, 2017 at 3:49 pm

      What character would an a-list star want to play in your film? It needs to be the active one of the 4 friends, so start with that.

      Why is mentioning the race of the missing important?

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    3. Best Answer
      Richiev Singularity
      2017-12-08T12:10:02+10:00Added an answer on December 8, 2017 at 12:10 pm

      The first half of this logline isn’t bad, (Although I would drop the line about the dog) however I would listen to CraigD on the back half and be a little more specific.

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    4. Best Answer
      dpg Singularity
      2017-12-09T05:37:45+10:00Added an answer on December 9, 2017 at 5:37 am

      >>>>?discovering that things are much more sinister than they seem

      It goes without saying that the protagonist always starts out on his struggle underestimating the risks involved, the jeopardy, the psychological and physical price he will eventually discover he has to pay to succeed.? That’s part of the essential nature of drama, most particularly stories? belong to the action, thriller, adventure genres.

      So it isn’t necessary to say what goes without saying.

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