When an orphaned dropout joins an off-grid commune to evade a hometown scandal, but secretly returns to claim an inheritance, he must fight off reporters and protestors who follow him and destroy his commune, which he must rebuild with his windfall.
Roberto AltoLogliner
When an orphaned dropout joins an off-grid commune to evade a hometown scandal, but secretly returns to claim an inheritance, he must fight off reporters and protestors who follow him and destroy his commune, which he must rebuild with his windfall.
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A logline (and ?plot) should be organized around one ?spine — one?life changing inciting incident that triggers one? unified action line ?toward one objective goal. ? Unfortunately, this logline and plot seems to have several spines.
1] ?The character drops off the grid (action) to evade scandal (goal).
2] The character returns (action) to claim an inheritance (goal).
3] The character must fight off reporters and protesters (action) to rebuild the commune (goal) with his windfall.
Well, which one constitutes the central and singular spine that defines the plot? ? What is the story really about?
I thought rebuilding the commune was the story. I think that highlights the previous comment. What is at the heart of the story.
Yes, rebuilding the commune is the story, and rest is the back story, but I am still having trouble making it interesting and inserting irony.
Why does he want to rebuild the commune?
He fled to it to escape public scrutiny, attention. ?That was his original intent, right? And then he got it anyway and the commune was destroyed in the process.
So the commune no longer serves his original purpose. What is motivating him now to want to rebuild it? It can’t be in order to have a hideout from the press.
Has he embraced the values/lifestyle of the community? ?Has he come to believe the community and it’s credo are worth fighting for, rebuilding?