When as actress playing a costumed hero crosses the line, as would her character, her actions alter the lives of everyone around her.
clarkratliffPenpusher
When as actress playing a costumed hero crosses the line, as would her character, her actions alter the lives of everyone around her.
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>>>When a actress turned vigilante purses a rapist, her sister falls for a club-owner caught in the wake.
A logline describes a plot.? A plot is a unitary course of action by a character to achieve a singular objective goal.? This logline describes two? characters engaging in seemingly? two independent courses of action.? Who owns this story?? What is the main course of action, the backbone of the plot on which everything else hangs?
Of course, the primary main course of action may have secondary and tertiary story threads, but a logline is only about the primary course of action.? ?For the sake of brevity and because? the primary course of action by itself should be interesting enough to sell the script,
And actually,? there doesn’t seem to be a plot to the sister falling in love.? There is no goal she’s striving toward,? no obvious stakes, no apparent dramatic tension in her falling in love.? She just does.? It comes across as an event in? the actress’s plot, not a subplot in its own right.? Nor is it obvious that it complicates the actress’s? plot,? Two more reasons it does? not seem to belong in the logline.
How about this?
When a actress turned vigilante purses a rapist, her sister falls for a club-owner caught in the wake.
thanks variable. I sent it hope you got it.
‘..who acted as her character would’ is not required. You are giving more space to the Actress.
Who’s your protagonist? (Fighting for a rape victim seems more heroic than falling for a club owner.. )
Since Amber is still the protagonist (drop the name..) bring her Goal in the Logline. Suggested format-
“After falling for the guy who’s pressing charges against her sister for vandalizing his club, [a PROTAGONIST] must [reach this objective GOAL]”?
>>the main goal for this story is her sister meeting the club owner
…which is potential conflict to her goal of associating with this club owner, although-as a protagonist-this would change after her sister reveals her end of the plot (about the rape). That’s good plot. To be clear, I meant GOAL of the protagonist.
PS. share your script over mail if you must
How about this?
Amber falls for a club owner, who could pursue legal action against her sister, an actress who acted as her character would in bringing a rapist to justice.
I want to use this as a mini-series that launches 4 separate series. But the main goal for this story is (bad as it is to say) her sister meeting the club owner. Everything else gets worked out in the series.? If you get a chance, I’ll post my script on simplyscripts.com “life as a screenplay” there is a work-in-progress section.
Hey Variable. Thanks. What I have in a story is a girl gets raped on the set and the actress tracks the guy down at a club and wrecks the club, it’s a messed up way but her sister meets and falls for the club owner. I’ll try again. thanks so much!
Hello clarkratliff.? New to logline.it? ?start here! ?Currently it’s vague how she crosses the line, and how her actions alter the lives of those around her. It helps if you go for a specific event. Focus on what becomes her objective goal as a result of the inciting incident. Hope this helps 😀