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SumiLogliner
Posted: March 7, 20162016-03-07T21:11:33+10:00 2016-03-07T21:11:33+10:00In: Thriller

When Emma discovers that her suave seducer is planning to kill her, she must escape his isolated mountain lodge and track across treacherous terrain while he hunts her down.

When Emma discovers that her suave seducer is planning to kill her, she must escape his isolated mountain lodge and track across treacherous terrain while he hunts her down.
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    1. danielplagens Logliner
      2016-03-09T03:25:18+10:00Added an answer on March 9, 2016 at 3:25 am

      This is a pretty well written logline. There’s a goal and high steaks. I understand how the story’s going to work and the genre.

      My only question is about Emma. We don’t usually need a name in loglines, so I’d recommend replacing the proper name with a descriptor. What kind of a girl is Emma? Thinking about how an experience like this would change a person may lead you to an interesting character. What is someone going to learn from surviving, or even just being put into, this kind of a situation? Is she a shy girl, the polar opposite of a suave seducer, or a bit of a party animal?

      Again, this is super good. Addressing that one note may be all you need to solidify the concept.

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