“When her domineering boyfriend forces her to join the army the Potomac with him, a meek farmgirl fights for the North and for her relationship as she succeeds in battle just as his cowardice grows.”
RichievSingularity
“When her domineering boyfriend forces her to join the army the Potomac with him, a meek farmgirl fights for the North and for her relationship as she succeeds in battle just as his cowardice grows.”
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(A fictional account of historical events)
Do you mean “Army of the Potomac”? I’m from the UK so my American History is not great.
Describing him as domineering doesn’t make me want them to stay together. Can’t they both be happy to sign up but her bravery and his cowardice force them apart on the battlefield? This doesn’t bother her, but affects him and their relationship. She begins to enjoy her successes and new found fame. This would really closely connect her success on the battlefield to the degradation of the relationship. Act III is then her making the choice between her fame and the man she loves.
Is this primarily a love story? Is her goal to save the relationship?
As women were not allowed to enlist in those days (it was unthinkable, unimaginable), the premise somewhat strain scredibility,
However, she could be a meek farm girl who stays to fight to save her livestock and grain during one of Robert E. Lee’s incursions into the MD? and PA in 1862 and 1863? after her husband flees.? It was SOP for invading rebel forces to live off the land, confiscating supplies, compensating owners with worthless Confederate currency.? I’ve visited? caves the locals fled to? when the Confederates invaded Maryland in September, 1862 which culminated in the Battle of Sharpsburg/Antietam? in September, 1862, the single bloodiest day in American military history.
So, I think it quite credible to write a story about a Yankee farm girl who stays to defend her land during a rebel incursion after all the men folk flee.? And gets caught in the crossfire of the ensuing battle at either Sharpsburg or Gettysburg — take your pick.
fwiw
Sorry guys, I thought it would be clear the lead character was disguised as a man since women were not allowed to join the army in the civil war. That’s my mistake for trying to cut word space.
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“When her domineering boyfriend forces her to join the army with him disguised as a man, a meek farmgirl fights for the North and for her relationship as she succeeds in her duties while he grows increasingly cowardly.”
Okay, but now your logline begs for an answer to the question of his motivation.? Why would he force her to serve?? That is a most unmanly act for guy to do, no matter how “domineering” he may be.? Especially in the? mileu of those times,? ?Further, if it isn’t her choice to serve, it is always her option to blow her cover and foil his scheme. (And how credible is it that she’s too meek to say “No!” to her bully boyfriend but not too meek to fight and kill?)
That setup just doesn’t compute in my mind.? Others’ mileage may differ.? It seems to me it would make more sense, simplify the logline (and through line) and the story would still be just as interesting if she’s not meek, if she disguises herself as a man and enlists of her own volition.
I think there’s a great, untold, incredible but true story to be told here because women actually did manage to enlist and fight in the Civil War.? In fact the few details of an actual case of a woman who served until “unmasked” by her pregnancy is a great pitch in itself .
fwiw
There’s definitely something in all this. As dpg said, the true story of a woman being unmasked by her pregnancy is great.
I think there’s something incredibly romantic about the women joining to be with their husbands and the audience wouldn’t struggle to get behind her if she signed up under her own volition. If he’s forcing her though, the romance dies straight away. His motivation for joining can stay the same and he can turn into a bully when his cowardice (and her prowess) starts showing. As she gets promoted, he almost reveals her true identity to a group of her soldiers resulting in an epic “I am Spartacus” moment where all the soldiers express their loyalty regardless of her gender (even though it’s never confirmed at this moment). This way her desire to save the relationship (and therefore enlist) is totally understandable and more importantly she’s never been forced to do anything. Her merry band of soldiers then becomes her family in a way that the boyfriend (why not husband?) never was and she realises that she wasn’t as happy as she thought she was. The boyfriend then becomes the antagonist. It’s a classic Fool Triumphant (Undercover Fool) film with the boyfriend becoming the “Insider”. Final act is her fighting and winning on the battlefield but she gets mortally wounded and is at death’s door. Her disguise slips and her commanding officer (who represents the establishment and strictly anti-women in war), despite the truth being revealed orders her soldiers to carry “his” body to the med-tent. She ends up dying as a medal is pinned on her. We then discover that the whole story is being told to her child who was raised by her tent-mate with the help of the rest of her band of soldiers.
After enlisting incognito to fight by her husband’s side during the Civil War, a meek farmgirl discovers her true calling as she’s promoted through the ranks while her cowardly husband flounders and threatens to unmask her.
Lacks a clear goal but I really like the idea of a Fool Triumphant based on real life.
I hope you find a story in all this. I would watch it!
>> I think there?s something incredibly romantic about the women joining to be with their husbands and the audience wouldn?t struggle to get behind her if she signed up under her own volition.
Amen? and amen!? ?I wholeheartedly agree with mikepedley85.
Richiev, you have a great story idea here.? And consider who the natural target audience? is:? women.? What will? appeal to them more: a story about a woman who voluntarily enlists out of? true love or one who is coerced into enlisting by bullying?
Make it a love story.
Thanks guys! I knew there was a reason to write a logline first.
You are right, she must sign up of her own free will. Her choice not a situation forced upon her.