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Mike PedleySingularity
Posted: June 26, 20182018-06-26T00:45:54+10:00 2018-06-26T00:45:54+10:00In: Romance

When an impromptu business trip to Tokyo threatens his last chance with his dream girl, a resourceful romantic must find a way to go ahead with the date from 6000 miles away or risk losing her forever.

When an impromptu business trip to Tokyo threatens his last chance with his dream girl, a resourceful romantic must find a way to go ahead with the date from 6000 miles away or risk losing her forever.
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    4 Reviews

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    1. dpg Singularity
      2018-06-26T03:21:10+10:00Added an answer on June 26, 2018 at 3:21 am

      Only in your comment, do I get a glimpse of? the story hook, the gimmick, that the date is conducted entirely on line through an app.? That story hook needs to be in the logline.

      And only a date she won’t forget?? He doesn’t want to marry his “dream girl”?

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    2. variable Uberwriter
      2018-06-26T05:18:32+10:00Added an answer on June 26, 2018 at 5:18 am

      However much he struggles with technology, geography and language…it reads kind of ‘uncinematic’ to me. What is the worst that could happen, apart from complete ignorance on her part, in which case he’s all the more better without her. I mean she must’ve known he’s new to Tokyo and cut him some slack on their first date. Am I missing something?

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    3. Richiev Singularity
      2018-06-26T07:59:48+10:00Added an answer on June 26, 2018 at 7:59 am

      I will add to what has already been said:

      What are the stakes? What bad thing will happen if he does not give her a date she will never forget?
      For this concept to work the date must mean ‘everything’ to the lead character.? (And that importance must come through in the logline)

      That being said, I do like the concept and believe there is a story to be told that could be interesting.

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    4. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2018-06-26T15:43:07+10:00Added an answer on June 26, 2018 at 3:43 pm

      Agreed with all the above, I’ll add that this seems to lack enough meat for a feature. Is this planned as a short film per chance?

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