When his grandmother sets him up with a man they?ve just met, an architect must decide between a loveless relationship and reinventing himself to complete The Playground and reclaim himself ? and the man he loves.
Alan SmitheePenpusher
When his grandmother sets him up with a man they?ve just met, an architect must decide between a loveless relationship and reinventing himself to complete The Playground and reclaim himself ? and the man he loves.
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If you set up the logline correct, we will know the lead has to make a decision without having to say it in the logline.
“When he’s set up by a promise he made to his grandma, a loyal architect in a loveless straight marriage finds himself on the date of a lifetime with an interesting gay writer, but must refrain himself if he is to keep his marriage vows.”
For me, I see the lead as completely loyal. His word is his bond. He was married before he even realize he was gay, His wife is a good woman but because he is gay there is no passion. (He probably hasn’t even confessed it to anyone)
His grandma wants him to be happy. She probably knew he was gay even before he did.
She tricks him into making a promise. (A promise he must keep because he always keeps his promises)
Now that he is on the date and it is going well, there is a struggle, he really likes the guy but he will not break his marriage vows.
To make a set up like this work, early on you would have to show the audience his loyalty, maybe at work he keeps a promise that loses him money but because he made a promise he kept his word.
Sorry, you’ve made a huge assumption – that the loveless relationship is heterosexual. It isn’t. This is a totally gay story. His partner of a number of years is controlling and stifling and the main character chose him out of rebellion against his toy-manufacturing parents who he sees as frivolous. In doing so, he’s denied the playful part of himself.
There are fireworks between him and the new guy. But (and on this point you’re right), he won’t cheat, at least not physically, on his partner.
Would love to hear your suggestions based on the actual script…..
But thanks for the effort you put into your response 🙂
Maybe this is better:
When his grandmother sets him up with a man they?ve just met, an architect is forced to abandon a stale relationship and reinvent himself to complete The Playground? and reunite with the man he loves.
I am not sure what ‘complete the Playground’ means, is it a new term kids are using?
When his grandmother sets him up with a man they?ve just met, an architect must decide between a?15-year relationship and reinventing himself to complete The Playground and reclaim himself ? and the man he now loves.
No amount of adjectives and descriptions will make up for the lack of obstacle. I appreciate the supposed sentimental obstacle – the long term relationship, but?in movie terms, it isn’t enough to make this a tough choice. The reason is that outside of a?few fleeting uncomfortable emotions there are no stakes. I like Richiev’s suggestion of putting him in a straight relationship this, while slightly cliche by now, brings social stakes into the premise.
I get that you want to write an ‘all gay’ story, but like many other romance movies, gay or straight, it’s always a challenge to introduce stakes and obstacles into the story. Perhaps it would be best to expand your scope to include a straight relationship hurdle for the MC.
Agree with Nir Shelter that in the romance genre there’s got to be a seemingly insuperable obstacle that stands in the way of true love. ?In this case, the obstacle appears to be internal.
But film is a visual medium so all internal conflicts and obstacles must be shown ?– there has to be an external representation of the obstacle. The indecisiveness is not the problem; it’s a a symptom of the deeper problem, the obstacle. What is that obstacle?