A reformed ex-con returns to NYC’s violent underworld to make fast money for his mother’s cancer treatment.

Hey everyone. I very much want to get the official logline for NIGHT WORKER.

(At this point, I kinda figured it?s best to do this one at a time.)

I?ve eradicated ?1977? and ?blackout? from the logline. I know Blackout is a hook – but I don?t think it?s that relevant to the story. It?s more a backdrop at this point. (Or at least anything I?m doing anything to suggest this will be cheap to make).

All these lack the precious hook that separates it from Carlito?s Way, Breaking Bad. A hundred other things. The underground world is still vague. Apart from prison, there are no other risks.?

Taking on someone else?s suggestion that perhaps it should be his wife or his kid – I?ll keep that in mind for the next rewrite.

SERIES LOGLINE: (for 8 episode limited series)

Formula 1:

When a major event happens, the hero must do the main action.

When his mother is diagnosed with cancer, a reformed ex-con returns to drug dealing, and a more violent, ruthless criminal underworld, to pay for her expensive treatment.

(courtesy of Richiev)

I can?t help but think this is the best one thus far – for the story I have right now anyways.?

Formula 2:

Title is genre about protagonist who must do (goal) or else (disaster will happen if he doesn?t succeed).?

Night Worker is a crime drama about an ex-con who must return to drug dealing to pay for his mother?s expensive cancer treatment.

I?m angling closer to crime drama as opposed to gangster or period (which I?ve found is just too hard marketing-wise).

Formula 3:

Logline must have:

1. Who the story is about.

2. What he strives for.

3. What stands in his way (the antagonistic force/stakes).

A reformed ex-con, desperate to pay for his mother?s cancer treatment, returns to drug dealing, in a more violent, ruthless criminal underworld.

I know. Still lacks the hook?

What?s the hard choice. What?s the dilemma?

Perhaps the underworld is filled with the men he betrayed? – I think that?s an idea.?(In the first draft, he was in prison for manslaughter. Then I changed it to being pinched.)

Perhaps he?s pitted against both a violent, ruthless underworld? and his cop brother? (part of the DEA. He could be a good cop Serpico type? We could go deeper and say he?s the good one in the family. A Matt Damon type.). That?s interesting, right??

IDEA I HAVE IN MIND:

When his mother is diagnosed with cancer, a reformed ex-con returns to drug dealing to pay for her expensive treatment, inadvertently pitting him against his cop brother.

(Admittedly – very close to Blood Ties, We Own the Night).

What does everyone think of that one?

Very quick synopsis of first episode.

(In the most recent rewrite, I used a different paradigm and had to do major structure work.)?

Influences: I went into it wanting to do something like a one-crazy-night film (After Hours, Superbad, Harold and Kumar) as that follows its own paradigm (1. stuck in a rut. 2. be seduced. 3. get in trouble. 4. make friends/make enemies. 5. adapt 6. wake up/a new day.)

Recently released from prison, an ex-con and former drug dealer returns to his old haunts to make amends with the family that refuses to speak to him, as well as reconcile with an old flame.

First, he visits his dying mother in the hospital but is quickly asked to leave by his father – who believes he has brought great shame to the family and that ?people don?t change?. He then visits his former flame (who we learn is a childhood sweetheart) and does not want to see him as he reminds her of a traumatic childhood incident.

Meanwhile, the ex-con?s friend, a troubled war veteran/junkie and drug dealer, visits the neighbourhood gangster (from his youth), who we learn is also a very loving family man.

The war vet owes the gangster 10,000 dollars and needs to come up with the money by 5am.

The ex-con and drug dealer, who haven?t seen in each other in many years, run into each other outside a bar. After a few drinks, and then after being threatened by a couple of the gangster?s thugs, the drug dealer lures his friend into helping him sell 7,000 dollars worth of cocaine (and he will make the rest by other means). The ex-con declines and then reluctantly agrees.

The two friends visit Studio 54 where the war vet fails to sell to a sleaze bag Jewish comedian. Within moments, the ex-con uses his old tricks to sell to the comedian (and somewhat reclaims his charisma/manhood/identity in the process). The war vet tries to seduce the ex-con into coming back – and even lays out a plan: ?make enough money from one big score and then disappear?. The ex-con indulges him and replies, ?perhaps I?ll stay and become a name?.

The ex-con runs into his childhood sweetheart, who is with a sleazy smug TV producer, and we learn she is still doing anything to get into the show business industry. Meanwhile, the childhood sweetheart is disappointed to see the ex-con is up to his old tricks.?

Next up, the ex-con and war vet visit a leather gay bar where the war vet snorts far too much of his own merchandise and then gets angry (and near-kills) a gay man dressed as a homosexual. The ex-con drags the war vet out of the bar before he has a PTSD-induced meltdown – which he later has in a taxi cab. The war vet professes that he plans to clean himself up so he can return to his pregnant girlfriend and become a good father – but first he needs to clear his debts with all the wrong people and sober up. The ex-con promises to help him do this.

The next place is a drug-den and brothel led by a street gang (not unlike one found in The Warriors). The ex-con refuses to go any further (as going in basements reminds him of a past traumatic incident). The war vet says it is okay, and that he plans to hustle these guys. The ex-con makes him promise not to hustle these guys. The ex-con ends up going back for his friend.

This last place, the gang leader remembers the ex-con and by gunpoint makes him do his own ?special? brand of cocaine – as it is the only way he can trust him. The ex-con reluctantly does it. Later on, things get out of hand, when the war vet, once again, has a meltdown and shoots one of the gang members and then robs them. Both drug-induced, the boys back out the door to a very angry gang leader who threatens to kill them both (medieval style) if he ever sees them again.

With 30 minutes to go before 5am, they end up in a diner. The war vet hands over the ex-cons share (as clearly he robbed the drug den for more than 10,000) in a grocery bag. Before leaving for his final destination, the war vet admits he not only knew the ex-con would help him make the money, but that he would come back for him at the drug den – as ?some people don?t change?. The ex-con reluctantly slides the grocery bag towards him?

The ex-con spends that morning, unable to sleep (still coming down from the drugs) and thinking about his next move. The next day, he visits a Taxi cab company where he asks for a job and admits he?s ?quick, good with people and wants to make a lot of money?.?

We then flash forward to five days later. The blackout. The ex-con and war vet are in trouble with a gang who want the war vet dead. The ex-con is told all his problems will go away as long as gives up his friend. He is still unable to give up his friend. Chased by the gang, the ex-con and war vet run across a battlefield: muggings, street fights, madness?

END OF PILOT

Hi Mike.

Thanks for the reply. Some good points there.

Yeah – in the original script, I had something quite similar to what you were saying with him being good, moral, righteous. I had my protagonist from a religious family and throughout I wanted to give him existential angst (not unlike a paul shraeder film). I wanted him to be introspective, etc.?

Admittedly, I?ll either cut my losses with this one. Or perhaps rework it in several months (perhaps as a film). Regardless – the next draft will need major architectural work.

However, my experience reworking the logline (over and over and over again) has helped me write the current draft (which I reckon is better – he has a stronger goal, the structure and plotting is better, etc). Not only that but it looks more like a limited series than it did a month ago? so I?m very grateful to you guys for the feedback.?

Though it lacks a strong hook, the logline I’ve gone with is a lot more specific, unique and lean than the earliest.