Logliner
Posted: 2017-06-10T17:51:40+10:00 In:

When his mysterious girlfriend rejects his marriage proposal, a bewildered man conducts a secret investigation to discover why.

When his mysterious girlfriend rejects his marriage proposal, a bewildered man conducts a secret investigation to discover why.
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    1 Review

    1. Uberwriter

      Anthony,

      I’m not sure that mentioning “mysterious girlfriend” is enough or even appropriate here. For him to offer marriage, she must be somewhat un-mysterious, don’t ya think?

      Tell me something interesting about this investigation, stakes, time frame he has, ext…

      May want to begin this with: “After his marriage proposal is rejected, a bewildered man….”

      Perhaps mention his internal struggle to overcome this rejection. Is the girlfriend a super model or something? Why is unwilling to give up on her after she gave up on him?

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