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MitchWLogliner
Posted: August 30, 20222022-08-30T08:58:26+10:00 2022-08-30T08:58:26+10:00In: Fantasy

When his sister disappears in a magic-reliant space colony, a new wizard must break free to find her; but when he discovers they are not in space he must learn to not blindly follow, become a leader, and rally the people to take out the president before others are killed.

This is actually an alteration on a previous logline I posted. The rough idea is that this society relies on magic and have been taught to fear non magic people and to escape them they shipped off into space. However some people are born without magic and those people are killed. The people turn a blind eye to this out of fear. When his sister disappears he decides to go looking for her and at the midpoint he discovers they’re still on Earth and that the people without magic are being killed. He finds his sister in a civilisation outside the ship and then he decides to head back into the ship to free his people.

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    1. BenGilani Logliner
      2022-08-31T18:06:12+10:00Added an answer on August 31, 2022 at 6:06 pm

      Hi MitchW,
      I think you are providing some unnecessary information in your logline. Stick to the core story. Below you can see what I understood you were trying to say while reading your logline.

      A ……(who? describe your lead character)……. who is searching for his missing sister in ……….(Where? Describe the ambiance/location/place)……, discovers that innocent people are being killed by authorities for no good reason and decides to end the killings/slaughter/crimes/etc.

      I hope this helps

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