When his vibrant friend turns seriously ill during a road trip, and anxious recluse must get her home through a strange and threatening world.
KWLogliner
When his vibrant friend turns seriously ill during a road trip, and anxious recluse must get her home through a strange and threatening world.
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Or…
“When an anxious recluse agrees to take his cancer-fighting friend on one last adventure, he must cope with the threatening world alone when she falls fatally ill.”
Which works best?
Just curious, why doesn’t he take her to a doctor?
“Just curious, why doesn?t he take her to a doctor?”
Good question. Maybe I need to address that in the logline.
In the screenplay, it’s simply because it’s late at night, in the middle of nowhere, and the last thing she communicates is a great desire to get herself home.
What if the diagnosis is fatal (point of attack), she’s only got a few months to live? ? So the cancer victim wants to take the Big Trip?on her bucket list (inciting incident)? ?And only the protagonist is available to take her on it? Which she reluctantly agrees to do despite his anxieties and agoraphobia. ?And then…
That’s pretty close to the story. She’s in the last days, but is desperate to make every last moment count. She convinces her friend, against his fears, to take her on one last trip.? Kinda had to get all that in under twenty-five words. I’ve tried to focus on how this is different from other kinds of cancer stories. This is the story of Sam, the anxious recluse, and how he finds himself in his worst-case scenario and has to somehow cope. It’s his arc, and he is the one who changes as he faces off with his friend, who is upbeat and positive despite her imminent death.
I find road movies the hardest to logline as the goal is essentially the main action in act 2 – once they’re on the road what more could they NEED to achieve?
If you look at my favorite road movie Thelma and Louise, they gave the main characters a clear goal that came about as a result of the road trip. Because they went on the trip one of them had to commit murder, their goal then shifts from freedom from their social commitments to freedom from the law. In essence, their goal remains the same – freedom, but the stakes are higher and the manifestation of the goal changes – they want to make it across the boarder.
What is the equivalent for this main character? I think to get the sick friend back dilutes the power of the action if the terminally ill friend wants to make the most of every moment traveling back home would not be in their best interest. What if you give her an aspiration to die on the highest mountain in the US or THE WORLD! I know it doesn’t make much sense but the principle still stands – a concrete achievable, yet difficult, goal.
What if the friend is Muslim and she wants to visit Mecca at least once before she dies, or Buddhist and must visit a temple in Nepal, or an artist and must visit the Louvre, etc…
Agree with Nir Shelter. ?Most “road trip” movies are framed by a definite destination — and ?a ticking clock and/or sense of urgency. Like in “Thelma & Louise” where they ?have an initial destination (a mountain cabin) and ticking clock (for the weekend) — and then a final destination — and a desperately urge one — after the inciting incident.
And what does “anxious recluse” ?mean, anyway? ? Does that translate into his suffering from something like agoraphobia? ?I realize you’re trying to create an “Odd Couple” relationship. ?That’s okay, but it’s not credible that his character arc entails “curing” his ?psychological disorder thanks to her cajoling him into taking the journey. ? That doesn’t happen in real life,; and the days when you could get away with that ?in reel life are long gone.
( BTW: that she brow beats him into taking the trip is a symptom of her own character flaw. ? That is, she is insensitive to his ?temperament such that she discounts how the trip will be pure hell for him. ?And she’s may also be making the foolish mistake of using him as her Pygmalion project to the degree she nags, manipulates him into acting ?like her — “vibrant”, outgoing, risk taking. Rather than accept him for what he is and appreciate his character strengths.
I say this acknowledging that cinema celebrates vibrant, extroverted, risk takers engaged in Pygmalion projects on non-vibrant, introverted, risk aversive characters.
Anyway, I can see a lot relationship dynamics to explore — within the framework of the right plot. ?But I don’t see the roadmap for that plot — yet.)
fwiw