Penpusher
Posted: 2019-08-28T19:40:37+10:00 In:

When Raju accidentaly falls into an abandoned deep tube well, chaos ensues as all efforts to rescue him seem to fail and the only thing he has to hold on to is hope.

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    2 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Mentor

      When you say “Raju”, I am not sure whether you mean a man or a little boy. In your previous logline you said “little boy” and it would be better to retain that phrase than using the boy’s name.

      The bigger problem, however, is that if the boy is stuck in a tube well and cannot free himself, then he is probably not the main character.? The main character is the person who rescues the boy, whether that be by individual effort or by organizing the rescue effort. The logline should be written from the point of view of the main character.

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    2. Best Answer
      Samurai

      “When he falls into an abandoned well breaking his leg, a teenager must rescue himself or die from exhaustion.”

      (A movie like 148 Hours, Open Water, Gerald’s Game, Gravity, and Frozen, where the protagonist is the trapped one.)

      Or:

      “When an abandoned well collapses on a young boy, a firefighter’s team must save him before he suffocates.”

      Here, the protagonist is the rescuer.

      You can choose to show both sides and that is ok, although more challenging (dual protagonist).

      Why does “chaos ensue?” It’s often tempting to blur the story’s specifics by resorting to generic and clich? expressions. This is bad writing, first of all because it impedes our thinking. When we write the story, at one point or another we will have to come up with specific events. Thus, let’s cut to the chase:

      Why can’t they take the boy out? Has the well collapsed on top of him? Is there a flood? Decide what the big obstacle is and put it in the logline.

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