When the boy she meets turns out to be a werewolf like her, a sheltered girl begins a forbidden relationship with that helps express their beastly forms but runs the risk of being discovered by the paranoid hicks of her small town.
The_CNISamurai
When the boy she meets turns out to be a werewolf like her, a sheltered girl begins a forbidden relationship with that helps express their beastly forms but runs the risk of being discovered by the paranoid hicks of her small town.
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You stated this as fantasy, but this is a love story. If humans are social animals, you just squared them and multiplied it with beasts. What is unique?
Fantasy must allow your audience to experience a whole new world. Twilight was not fantasy.
What I see from your logline is that there are two werewolves who meet and decide to have a relationship. As this is forbidden, they need to run and hide from their community and in the end they will die.
I do not mean to let your ambitions down. You may have a better and different story but this logline naturally attracts criticism.????
Hello The_CNI!
You can drop “…with that helps express their beastly forms”. It would work great in your script, but unnecessary in the logline
Apart from that, It would benefit from raising the stakes; Editing with the information that the werewolves are endangered (and feared/hated) in this world works great with the use of keywords “forbidden relationship” & “paranoid hicks” so working in that direction seems only fitting
My only suggestion is to specify what becomes her GOAL as a result of what awaits them (since your Inciting incident doesn’t yet introduce an urgency, only hints at the conflict…)
Good Luck!!
You should put a face to the antagonist; since you say their love is forbidden, you should tell us who is doing the forbidding. A specific bad guy they must overcome or win over.
Agreed with Richiev.
Good love stories have strong forces keeping the lovers apart, so what makes their forbidden?
Yep, why forbidden? And how do they work against this force. Do they plan on running away. Then what is stopping them? This is the story. Think Romeo &Juliet in wolf clothes. That story is about families and their control. The only way to break free is to fake their deaths.
When two werewolves fall in love, they must…. well, what?? ?”Expressing their beastly forms” is what the want to do.? What must they do to live happily ever after?? ?
Keeping their identity and their relationship covert is a transient solution.? What is the permanent solution (objective goal) they seek to their predicament?
In a romance — which is what this essentially is — the dramatic question arises not from who the characters are but from what they do, to wit, fall in transgressive love. What is so forbidden about their relationship?? They’re both werewolves ;? the relationship is exactly what is expected and acceptable for two werewolves.
Isn’t it usually forbidden for werewolf/human hookups? Not human/human or werewolf/werewolf? And “paranoid” seems a bit harsh, I mean they literally are monsters, aren’t they right to be concerned??Your tone is unclear.